Sometimes terminology gets tossed around and we all nod our heads like we understand what’s being said, when we don’t.  I thought I would take a few steps back and take a simplistic look at what personal change is, to ensure we’re all nodding our heads in understanding.

When I speak about personal change, I’m describing something personally trans-formative.  The personal transformation can be large or small but somehow you change a bit of who you are.  Personal transformation can be driven by external and internal events.  These events can be prompted by something you control and others “happen to you”.  I use the word event because often times, there is some very real event that occurs and a series of internal changes follow.  Let’s examine these situations, look at examples and why that creates personal transformation.

External Events - An external event is something that happens in your environment.  Examples of external events can be things such as moving, the death of someone, getting hired or fired, starting or finishing school, or children moving out of the house.  On the surface these external events look just that: external to us.  Yet, despite their external nature the internal impact is always there.  The internal impact is not always in portion to the event itself.  This is because we all process the impact in different ways.  I’ll discuss our internal reactions later.

The reason why an external event, even something as simple as moving has an impact on us internally is because it forces us into making changes to accommodate that event.  If you look at moving, you not only have your personal living arrangements completely impacted for a period of time, but you have new neighbors and are leaving old ones, new businesses to learn about and a new place to hang your toothbrush.  You are changing habits and that creates anxiety or discomfort.  You may also be creating a new social network and the dynamics of a new group of people will redefine who you are as well.  Good or bad, you will change who you are even if it is only slightly.  Other events mentioned could change you substantially such as a death of someone close or a job change. (more…)

  Posted By tyna     Mar 25, 2010       0 Comments  

Anxiety and Stress…Commonly Experienced and Usually Misunderstood.

There’s nothing wrong with us, society tells us there is,I mean look at commercials, seems they point out we are always missing something, something critical and I am here to tell you stop!

Stress is a common event and it’s definitely also misunderstood. This is a very bold statement to make and in no means intended to insult your intelligence, let me explain? In life where we are trying to achieve more there is going to be stress,in fact the only people without stress on the planet are at the same address. The graveyard, and I don’t believe that’s yours are my solution, at least I hope not ha-ha.

Stress is a part of living, if you’re alive and breathing, expect it. How you see or handle life’s pressures will determine the quality of your life.Doe’s that make sense? This is important: Life is how you interpret it. I don’t mean if you cut off your arm, you can say to yourself “It doesn’t hurt” because its going to hurt! but if you use it as a “comparison” it provides a strong contrast. What do I mean? Comparing your current pain to one that is worse, allows you to realize how well off you really are…There is always someone out there in a more dire situation than yourself, just look around.Contrast is a powerful tool to alter your perception of life’s happenings that are less than what you deserve to have happen, got it?

I hear about the anxiety we put ourselves in and wonder about it. Anxiety really is about making things out to be bigger than they really are. Think about it, last time you had a “happening”, a concern, or a challenge, and you got all “stressed out” about it, didn’t it pass by? it wasn’t all that big a concern after all. If you learn only one thing from me today is this : “That this too will pass” life is a river, constantly moving, life is all about change and movement, trying to stand still will create more stress and anxiety than moving with the current. (more…)

  Posted By tyna     Feb 23, 2010       0 Comments  

What do you think of when you think of leadership? Do you consider yourself a leader in any aspect of your life? What does it mean to be a leader? What type of leader are you?

There are many different theories about what it takes to be an effective leader; from the charismatic extrovert who commands attention whenever he or she speaks, to the soft-spoken introvert who prefers to empower others from the sideline.

Despite what you’ve been told, and despite how you may view your own leadership abilities (or lack thereof), you truly are a leader. Stake your claim to what is yours.

It’s very empowering to acknowledge, celebrate, and truly own all of the aspects of our existence. And each of us is a leader on some level: at home, at work, in the community… through formal or informal roles. Whether a CEO or a stay-at-home parent, we all have the ability to inspire others and create action through our ideas, words, and examples.

Of course we can’t all be leaders in all areas - but we can claim the leadership responsibilities that have already been bestowed upon us: if you’re a parent, then you’re a leader. If others often come to you for feedback or advice, you’re a leader. You’re a leader if you can think beyond the minutiae and the mundane, and if you’re able to assess challenges as opportunities.

We can claim our leadership in any area in which we feel a sense of passion and investment: wherever we care deeply enough to develop our knowledge, self-evaluate and grow, and challenge ourselves and others to strive for something better.

Try expanding your own concept of leadership, and seize the opportunity to stake your claim. You may already be the top dog at work - but how can you bring a more positive influence to your children? Or you may possess no formal title at all - but where can you share your unique knowledge, experience, talent, and wisdom? Where can you influence a change in your world (no matter how small), and inspire those around you to do the same?

You are a leader. Wear it proudly. Positive change is desperately needed on all levels, grand and small - from the political arena, to the boardroom, to the living room. And each of us can embrace the privilege, right, and responsibility to make it happen!

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Chris Hammer, Ph.D. is a certified professional coach and licensed psychologist. He offers leadership and life coaching services, as well as various coaching e books for people who are passionate about their personal and professional growth.
http://www.mycoachingbooks.com

  Posted By tyna     Jan 31, 2010       3 comments  

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars” — Jack Kerouac

The secret ingredient to success in anything we do is to find the passion in it. The kind of passion that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning because you can’t wait to begin your day.

Many of us have lost touch with that kind of passion in our lives. We have settled along the way for just getting by, surviving, making do with what we have, not expecting too much, just in case we’re disappointed.

Some of us have completely given up on our dreams. In fact, we don’t even remember what those dreams were, feeling they were just too out of reach, not worth the effort that we think is necessary to make them come true. And, as a result, we have lost our passion for life, our reason for living in the first place. We have settled for mediocrity and sold our souls in the process.

May just reading the following piece about Passion stir up your soul today, and ignite the fire within you. That fire may have dimmed, but the light hasn’t gone out. As long as you are alive and breathing, it never will. It is waiting there where you last left it. Can you remember where that was?

Passion

The difference between a job and a career. The difference between an actor and a star. The difference between a song and a symphony. The difference between a painting and a work of art. The difference between caring and intimacy. The difference between romance and rapture. The difference between intelligence and genius. The difference between living and being alive.

Passion

Wanting to jump out of bed in the morning. Wanting the night to never end. Wanting the moonlight to last forever. Wanting to reach and touch the sky. Wanting forever to be longer.

Passion

When everything tastes like Champagne. When everything smells like Freesia. When everything looks like Christmas. When everything sounds like Mozart. When everything feels like Velvet.

Passion

When heaven is not a place to go to, but a place to be. When success is not a thing, but a feeling. When love is not an offer, but an acceptance. When music is not a sound, but a resonance. When life is not an existence, but a celebration.

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If you would like some help in allowing the Passion back into your life today, then I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to two (2) beautiful, full color, inspirational mini-posters when you visit “>http://www.insightsandinspirations.com/gifts.html You will find an uplifting free audio and inspiring video there for you to use as well.

From Veronica Hay - Inspirational Author/Publisher - Insights and Inspirations Hub

  Posted By tyna     Jan 26, 2010       2 comments  

This is an honest and sincere feelings written down in black and white please read to the end of it and then honestly tell me what you feel

.

I went out today with my brothers and what I discovered is beyond a lot of people’s way of thinking.

After a long time, I allowed myself to go into the crowd and what I found out is simply amazing…

LIFE… We are as happy as exposed… I met different men from 30 to 50 years of age and it wowed me at what makes us happy as human… 50 percent of the crowd was money rich men who believed in a certain philosophy of happiness… It was in a bar with many people drinking… Some drank a lot of beer worth 60 percent of Nigerian earner’s salary but to my shock they looked so poor… I asked some men there if they were happy and YES they replied and out of curiosity I asked why because in my mind I see them as poor but the answer they gave me was amazing…

Mr Nnamdi said, I have a lovely wife, a beautiful daughter, a business that is flourishing, and a girlfriend that makes me laugh… It came as a shock to me the way he mentioned the girl friend word like it was the most normal thing to do in the world as a married man… But in the end… He is Happy…

Mr Chuks said… Well… I make money and can spend it when I want to so it makes me happy because it is not easy to do in this country…

A man to my right said… Yes I am happy… I have finished a lot of beers now and it makes me happy.

Hmmm… I said to my self, these guys really look happy… With such little accomplishment… Why am I not happy? Then it dawned on me that that as human… The amount of happiness we feel in our lifetime is simply the amount of want that we have… These men looked and sounded very happy today… But are they truly happy without the bottles of beer? It doesn’t really matter because they were happy!

SUCCESS… What do we understand by this word? I have met different people in this country and it is disappointing the answer they give when you ask them what the meaning of success is… Listen to their answers… I want to be a Rich man, I want to be able to do whatever I want, I want to be able to kick asses when I want to, I want to be like someone really wealthy… Hmmm… Truly not a lot of people die successful… A lot of men die rich but not successful… Most of them get carried away by the things of this world but let me try and explain… SUCCESS according to a good book is… KNOWING YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE, GROWING TO REACH YOUR MAXIMUM POTENTIAL, AND SOWING SEEDS THAT BENEFITS OTHERS. Now thinking deep about this it makes the meaning of Success clearer… Indeed, A lot of people die rich but not everyone discover their purpose in life. Which means… Rich people are remembered for their money and sometimes Fame.. But Successful people are remembered for their Existence!

LOVE… So… Overrated especially to the human race… So divine its power that a lot of people die without knowing the meaning of it… So… What is love? The true answer is… NO ANSWER! It differs from people to people… Everybody gets a chance to experience it but not everyone hold on to it till eternity… As human the truth is… The only people who get the chance to experience real love are the ones who are so Selfless… Like JESUS or GOD… Love is so free that it takes itself away when people place a price tag on it.

PAIN… How does it begin…? It goes hand in hand with LOVE… The lose of love brings all pain in the world but the gain of Love take it all away… But the difference is… We cannot prevent or control who and what we love… But we can for Love… If we want to think deep about life, Pain and Love we might just realize how selfish we are… E.g.. Pain… When we loose someone we love either by Romance or death… We get consumed about ourselves… Well… Its human nature, but why do we inflict pain on our selves when a mother, brother, or any loved one dies after a long time of earthly pain? Do we for a second stop to put ourselves in their shoes to imagine the pains they were fighting? Do we give ourselves a chance to feel the inner peace of knowing that they have gone to a place where no pain exists? even if we miss them so much. Or Romance… Say someone breaks up with us… Damn, I know the feeling… Sometimes they leave due to our fault, or circumstance, or their own selfishness… Hmmm, I cant put my hands around this but… Do we for a second remember that no one is perfect? No..I cant do anything here as being selfish is no reason to loose someone to.

BEAUTY… To me beauty is a very special price that most importantly come from the inside… Damn I feel so good when now and then people come up to me and say “You are handsome”, “You are hot” and all these compliment :-)… Many times you see me, I’m either standing by the Mirror posing and making faces, making sure I don’t have my beard showing and a lot of people call me vain, but the truth is… No one really know the reflection that I’m seeing… Most of the time I look in the mirror i say to myself… Damn, My right eye look so different from the left or Wow… I still have not bought the car I thought I would at age 20, or If i am as good looking as people has made me to believe, Why am I still single? But in honestly… Physical beauty is just a thing you have Nothing more, Nothing less. The most important is the beauty you possess on the inside… Physical or Facial beauty fades out in time, Friends will get use to it that it becomes invisible. If it is all you have… What then is left if it is taken from you. My point is… You want to feel beautiful? Why not try and make someone else feel so special and beautiful see the way you’ll feel about yourself. (more…)

  Posted By tyna     Oct 5, 2009       6 comments